Sex is for FAGS! - Boys Abstinence-Only Education Coolness Program

Bert F.: "My body is a sacred place, for holy stuff like Capri Sun juices, Lunchable Chicken Dunks, and Slim Jims (I like to snap into them!). The one thing that won't EVER go into my body? Girl slime!"
Greg B.: "I joined Sex is for Fags after watching girls who put out turn my big brother into a major wuss. By learning to repress my urges, now I can to grow up and be what I always wanted: a prison guard or a priest."
Zach P.: "Premarital sex isn't worth it! You can catch AIDS, or cancer, or testicle weevils, or a bad body image or rickets. You know what IS worth it? Making love to Jesus. Because you can't knock Him up and He'll never ask what you're thinking – cuz He already knows!
Tim R.: "I hate fags. Dude, I mean, dudes who can't stop touching their wangs? DUDE. So, like, I joined Sex Is For Fags because it IS. You won't catch me doing that – with dudes OR chicks. Well, at least not until I get my trust fund and start needing some serious tax deductions."

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So wrong. But pretty funny. Make sure and check out the section titled:

» 10 THINGS ALL THE COOL DUDES ARE DOING INSTEAD OF BEING LAME AND QUEER AND HAVING SEX!